Devotion

Devotion is about absolute commitment ; a determination that builds momentum with dedication. Full transparency, I initially felt uncomfortable with the word devotion and considered a different choice. My knee jerk reaction was the idea of obsession or toxicity. So I decided to take a pause and consider where my ideas of devotion stem from. The last time I used the word devotion I was speaking to my ex-husband. After exchanging texts messages about an argument he suggested that I had abandoned him, just like everyone else had in his life. Now with a master’s degree in counseling and marriage and family therapy I could make all kinds of diagnostic assumptions about what I believe was happening. Instead I decided to stand in my truth about how our relationship in the simplest terms was toxic and manipulative and did not respond to his accusation of abonnement. Fifteen minutes past and he is at my front door asking to speak to me. My response at this time went as follows, “I never abandoned you, you abandoned yourself. I stayed in our relationship way longer than I am proud of. I believed you meant what you said. I denied myself the truth time and again waiting for things to change because you said they would. That is not abandonment, that is devotion.”

Hence why I struggled to use the word. I have associated it with a time in my life when my focus was on waiting for someone else to change instead of making the change I needed. I was consumed with the what, when, why and how of him and took no responsibility for taking care of me; my own needs. It consumed me so much that just thinking about the above I almost avoided posting today. That would mean I clearly lacked devotion to sticking to my daily post commitment. That is self-abandonment and I am not accepting it. So remember, there will be things that try to deter you from your path but If you are ready to face any deterrent head on nothing can get in the way of your purpose.